thursday, nov 27

i finished my fourth christmas gift today and through this process i am overwhelmed that i already know so many people that i care about and am inspired by enough to create art for. four and a half years ago, at my most abandoned and lost, i couldn't shake the feeling that "something" was coming. this year, i can't shake the feeling that this "something" is being realized

two general updates:

my trademark loafers might finally be kicking the bucket and my hair is green again

tomorrow i get to test some very important new gear i found, an INSANE bins grail, and whether or not it works will determine if now is the time i start a new project under a moniker that i am astounded hasn't been claimed as a band name

where my bed is positioned now, i can always see the moon right outside my window :)

wednesday, nov 26

a meme within my mom's side of the family is that the women have the same laugh and it sounds insane when they're all in one room. and there aren't really many men that we regularly see when we visit besides one cousin. growing up i laughed like the women in my family of course, but since being on hormones i noticed that my laugh sounds just like my male cousin's so we actually all have the same laugh regardless of gender which is wholesome

tuesday, nov 25

finished 2/10 christmas [secret craft]s today. this is great practice in this craft and i'm excited to make more in the future. it's nice having a big desk to work on. i also got some music work done at @james empty house and hung out with kitty. i reflected on how the themes of my older music compare to the themes of the music i'm writing now. some of my new songs seriously feel like anthems and i don't care if that's corny. one in particular has nothing to do with alcohol but empowers me to stay sober. i'm wired because i have been nursing a quad shot latte for roughly 7 hours. while crafting i started listening to theft by finding (diaries 1977-2002) by david sedaris. i've seen his holiday essays downstairs at dead wax and held off on buying it because it wasn't around the holidays yet and it's an ugly copy and hardcover so i might get the slightly nicer looking paperback from thriftbooks. tomorrow is for chores. i'm going to finish the docuseries i'm watching. it's my first adam curtis. bye bye :)

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ok i totally just did what flounder user @james did and mistakenly deleted my entire journal. that's ok though cuz i was gonna do that on january 1st, 2026. i guess you all will never know what i was thinking on november 24th, 2025

rest in peace